Monday, March 9, 2009


Oh'how I HATE insomnia!

Here I am up again :(. This is the 3rd night in a row. I take all my sleeping meds & try to sleep, but I just can't. My mind will not stop whirling. So many things to think about, lately.
I think part of it is that things are getting easier around here. I've finally got some medical answers & I'm finding relief, finally. When I really stopped & thought about it, this has been bothering me since fall of 2007. I just had not connected the dots until I got the test results. Switching to all cotton has done wonders for me. All but 3 of the lesions are nearly healed! I just can't tell you how good that feels. They were so very painful.
Russ is going back to work, tomorrow very part time. I'm sure that will boost his spirits. He is so not a man to sit around, so this has been so hard on him. He also starts rehab, tomorrow. I bet he will be sore tomorrow night!
Ashley & McKayla went home, today. With my Sciatica problems almost gone & hubby getting better, she was able to go home. You know how wonderful it is to have family visiting & how wonderful it is when they go home? Yep, that's where we were all at. We sure will miss them, though & wish so bad they were nearer to us, so that we could see them more often & all go home to our own homes at night.

So, with all this getting better stuff, I guess I'm a little scared. I'm afraid to let this weight off my shoulders. I keep thinking "what's next". The past 1 1/2 years have been so hard for us. One blow after another. I think this is a huge part of my insomnia. I've got some serious praying & soul searching to do. I know that through these past 2 months God has shown us He is there & that He will meet all our needs. Trusting is hard for me, I want to do things all on my own. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I know that saying so well, "Let go, Let God". How many times have I said that to other people & believed it? So many times, so why is it so hard for me to do?

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